shame uninvited

little girl, don’t you see?

that bully can’t hurt you;

you needn’t hide

she forced you, threatened you

but you are still lovely

so lovely

don’t make shame your friend

that dirty feeling is a lie

you are as free as you ever were

to run through open fields

full of light-flare and insects buzzing

and jesus

waking to quantum leap and alone in your misery

on the car ride home

you see your reflection for the first time

and look away to avoid seeing for fear

that she’ll tell. that you’ll tell

or remember

but you don’t have to live in those walls

those ones you built because you were too young to know any other way

rip them down, brick by brick

your hands will certainly bleed

but it will be worth it for the glory of the other side

you’ll see

my husband pointed out that this makes it sound like i experienced some sexual abuse. while this is not the case for me, it is part of all too many little girls' stories, and i believe some of the same emotions and changes in identity occur at its hands. let's all uninvite shame wherever it has made its home within us.